Cold. January.

 

We're heading into the deep freeze next week. Life near zero is weird. I don't want to know the inside of my house this well. I can't really blame the cold though. I always get stir crazy after surgery. Something about surviving the surgical event makes me want to run off into the distance and just keep running. It might be escaping the hospital or being able to get up from the surgical table... I don't know. But once I am up and under my own power, I want OUT! This week I had a piece of skin cancer removed from below my eyelid. My face looks like I tried to hail a bus with my cheek. Not pretty. I thought going to a plastic surgeon would make me look cute. It said that in the brochure.

And now it is wicked cold. 

Years ago, we would relish time like this. Snow on the ground. No snowmobiles on the trail. Nights cold and black like ice. You can hear the trees creak. The snow is still fluffy, but after the weekend chill drops, I expect the snow to squeak. Warm sun over the next day or two might melt some of the new snow, but night turns rivulets into icicles. 

Mornings show the tracks of the coldest critters. Mice scurry over the top of the icy snow, leaving the tiniest of footprints in the crystal powder. By the time the sun shines on the snow, their tracks are hidden. The voles have dug their shallow tunnels from one garden bed to the next, criss-crossing the whole yard with their destruction. Sunny days enables the hawks to cull the ranks of voles; one at a time.

I'd normally make some kind of joke about it being so cold my face is numb, but it isn't numb. It throbs with swelling and pain. In a few weeks it will feel fine, but right now it keeps reminding me how offended the body is by taking a chunk out of it. The drugs threw my body into turmoil. It takes a while to get the system back into a normal cycle. Maybe that's why I am so afraid of the months ahead. With the chaos coming down the political pipeline, I worry that there will be no end to the pain and turmoil. Then we'll have to spend another decade (or more) healing from the damage. 

Time to go apply another bag of frozen peas to my face.